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"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." M Scott Peck
I don’t often start my musings with a question, but today I’m going to. Do you have a daily routine? In fact, do you have any kind of routine for your life? It can be quite comfortable getting up each morning, knowing exactly what you need to do and how to do it. It gives stability and security, and a sense of being able to cope with what lies ahead. The problems (or should I say challenges) come when our routine is disrupted by others who dare to interrupt its flow! “Tsk – they know that at 7.10am each day I need to brush my teeth so I can leave for 7.15am to get my train? How dare they interrupt what I’m doing!” Sound in any way familiar to you? ☺ Maybe it does maybe it doesn’t, but I think you get my drift. Routine can be great for planning what we need to do each day and when it needs to happen. It’s what we do to feel safe and not fearful. But when that routine is interrupted, all hell can break loose and fear can dominate: what if I’m late? What if I don’t get it done? What if it all goes horribly wrong? What if I get into trouble? How will I fix it and put it right? And so on. Another thing about routine, of course, is that it can end up being very mundane and, more importantly, keep us stuck in a rut. How many people do you know that fall into a kind of automatic routine: get up, get ready for work, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch tv, go to bed, sleep, get up, get ready for work, and so on? I remember, when I worked in investment banking I would be like that. Get up at 5am, get ready, leave at 6am, start work at 7am, get my lunch and eat it at my desk at 12.30pm, leave at 7.00pm, get home at 8pm, eat dinner, go to bed at 9pm. I did that for about 2.5 years before I got a wake up call.  You see the thing with the Universe is, it does like order. Most definitely. However it also wants change, and it will force change whether we like it or not. Ever noticed how life can sometimes seem to be skipping along in a routine way which we’re comfortable and used to and then suddenly BANG something happens that completely blows our world apart. The thing is, you see, the Universe has already been sending signals to us to change something but we’ve been so caught up in the automaton of routine that we’ve failed to notice them. So the Universe sends us something that will grab our attention. Something so huge that we cannot not notice it. Think about things that have seemed to come out of the blue for you, perhaps redundancy, illness, repairs to the home, things breaking in the home, someone around you needing so much help you cannot focus upon yourself and your routine, etc.
Ever seen the film Shirley Valentine? Wonderful story about a middle aged woman who’s married and stuck in a routine, day in, day out. They even have the same menu of food each week! Eventually she gets a wake up call whilst on holiday in Greece which, in turn, gives her husband a great big nudge too. They’d become so stuck in a rut that it needed something like Shirley’s trip to Greece to wake them up.
Do you see, the Universe wants growth, expansion, change, and evolution. And do you know what? It WILL get them. We can either choose to change with it, or be dragged along kicking and screaming. Either way we’ll change along with it. The question to ask ourselves is: Do I want to make this as comfortable and enjoyable as possible or do I want to stay where I am as long as I can and make it painful?
One thing to understand about change is, that it doesn’t have to happen in huge ways all at once. Undoubtedly there will be times when it does, but most change that happens is gradual. Like the change in waistline or the number of wrinkles and grey hairs we get as we get older! ☺ Do you see, the more comfortable we are with change, the more enjoyable and pain-free it can become.
Ever had those moments where you’ve ended up somewhere and you don’t know how you got there?! You remember setting off but then, all of a sudden, you are where you were headed for but don’t remember the journey. That’s automatic pilot and we can end up doing that a lot of if we don’t pay attention.
What can make change easier is if we pay attention to what we’re doing as often as we can – ideally all the time! Also, begin changing small things in your life – walk a slightly different route to work, get up 5 minutes earlier or later, eat something different for breakfast, choose to read a book instead of automatically switching the TV on and so on. By getting used to small changes, the larger ones are much more easier to manage. Unless we test and try new ways of doing things we’ll never know if our lives could be more fun and interesting.
Remember, we are all in control of our lives, what we do, and (on the whole) how and when we do it. We always have a choice. If we don’t like the routine someone else is pushing on us we can make that choice – try to change it, or get out and find a way of doing things that works for us. Choose to begin changing now, or the Universe will most certainly have a “big bang” waiting in the wings for you ☺
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“If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.” ~ Michael JordonAs we move through life, it is often true that we are trying to improve something about our life. Be it our home, our job, our knowledge, or some other part of our make up. It can feel so great when we finally let go of a repetitive pattern or recurring fear that has been causing us to stay stuck or go round in circles. We all have expectations of ourselves and we live up to those expectations. We also have a tendency, at times, to try to live up to others’ expectations of us and make them our own goals to aim for. This isn’t necessarily “wrong”, but it isn’t always that helpful, especially if the expectation is that you will fail or not do well or, even worse I think, that you will never be able to change. That’s a phrase I hear quite often from people “he/she will never change”. Says who? A blog for another time perhaps, but suffice to say, we change every single second. We are not who we were 5 minutes ago, let alone 5 years ago! But I digress. Expectations are what we live up to. Change the expectations and we can change our life. The down side of that, of course, is that sometimes the people around us don’t like the fact that we are changing. It unsettles their views of us and can, perhaps, make them think about changing some things about their own lives. Oooh too scary! This can culminate in rather attacking behaviour: “You’re not who I thought you were”, “Who do you think you are?”, and so on. This is not to say that others can be blamed for us being where we are – we all have a choice at the end of the day. Other people’s opinions and views can be helpful in terms of us taking a step back and viewing it from a number of different angles and perspectives. Only we will really know what is “right” for us at the time. By “right” I mean “feels right” for there is no right and wrong really: just different outcomes. One of the things that can stop us from feeling good about changes we’ve made is fear about what other people will think of us. We don’t necessarily want to stand out in the crowd, or here’s a great one “get ideas above our station”! Ever heard someone say that?! “Who does he/she think he/she is?”! So when we’ve achieved something we can have a tendency not to tell some people around us for fear of what they might think and feel. Doesn’t matter that we feel brilliant and fantastic about what we’ve done. We downplay it and confirm to patterns that others expect of us so as not to upset the apple cart.  Can you really honestly say that you are not really pleased for a friend when he or she gets ahead? I think it can be one of the most wonderful things when someone you like and care about shares their joy with you. You get the benefit of celebrating with them. So when it comes to sharing your own achievements feel good about them, and feel good about feeling good! There’s nothing to be ashamed about when you’ve achieved something that’s really meaningful for you. Hell, you’ve worked really hard to get it, why shouldn’t you be happy?! I’m not saying ram it down people’s throats – joy and being over-proud are two different things. It’s time to feel good about feeling good about all the things you’ve achieved so far in your life. Let go of shame, embarrassment, or guilt. They are all Ego-based emotions designed to keep you in a rut. As the song goes: I am what I am, I am my own special creation, So come take a look, give me the hook, or the ovation It’s my world that I want to have a little pride in My world, and it’s not a place I have to hide in Life’s not worth a dam, Until I can say I am what I am! So, feel good, about feeling good! By doing so, you’re also helping others to do the same.
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Each of us literally chooses, by his way of attending to things, what sort of universe he shall appear to himself to inhabit.
William JamesImagine, if you will, the most stunning, beautiful lake you have ever seen. Peaceful. Abundant with life. Majestic and magnificent. Fresh air abounding. Gentle breeze rippling the surface of the water and the feathers of the birds floating on the surface. Warm sun shining down. The sound of the breeze swishing the grasses, plants, and trees around the lakeside. The sound of the water lapping the shore, and the gentle “plop” as a fish pops up to the surface. Totally unspoiled and pure.  How disappointed and angry would you be if people started to spoil the lake by leaving rubbish by it. If companies started emptying out toxic waste into it. Think how horrible it would be if the only things that were put into the lake were unhelpful to life and growth. Sadly this happens to beautiful places around the world. Now, imagine that lake represents you and your life. For make no mistake, we are all beautiful beings. Within your “Lake” is a wealth and variety of things to experience, within, around, and on the top of it. Imagine now that your thoughts are what feed and flow into your “Lake”. Are the thoughts you think energetic, beautiful, and filled with life? Or are the thoughts you think toxic, and trashy? Make no mistake, it is our thoughts which create the world around us and the life we experience. What we think, we begin to believe. What we believe, we live by. What we live by, is what we create. All the time that we are thinking negatively about people we know, or resenting and hating things that have happened to us in the past, or worrying about what will happen in the future – we are polluting the life we are living. There is a public outcry when companies dump toxic chemicals into beautiful places. And yet, when we dump toxic thoughts into our minds and our lives – who’s going to stop us? No one really can force us what to think. We have to make a choice. In order to make that choice, we need awareness. Awareness of what we are thinking. However, we have become so used to the internal dialogue that goes on within our heads that we often don’t notice it, let alone what we are actually thinking. The best way to be aware of what we are thinking is to pay attention to our emotions. Our emotions are caused by what we think. It’s a lot of very hard work to monitor every single thought – however it’s a hell of a lot easier to monitor our feelings. In order to create and maintain the beautiful Lake that is our life, we need to take responsibility for how we are feeling, what we are thinking, and, thus, what we are creating. No one can change our thoughts and feelings for us – we can only do that ourselves. With this understanding comes awareness and the ability to begin to make wonderful changes in, and to, our lives and the world around us. Change your thoughts. Change your life.
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"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln Hopefully you’ll be humming the tune to that song already ☺ Such a great song with a simple message: don’t worry be happy. Does what it says on the tin! If you’ve never heard the song before, or if you want a reminder, click http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9K4BKkLaCI and have a listen on YouTube ☺ So, what’s all this about today? Well, as the title says, don’t worry, be happy. But let me expand upon that. We live in a world which is incredibly fast paced, and one where so many are trying to get somewhere quickly. Nothing wrong with fast-paced per se, just as long as you’re enjoying the journey to where you’re going. It can be great whizzing along the roads I know, but the downside to that is that you can’t really appreciate the scenery around you as you do. You see people all the time zooming along at unthinkable speeds because they want to get somewhere fast. Many will be thinking “I’ll be happy or pleased when I get there”. Now there’s a phrase you probably hear quite regularly “I’ll be happy when”. You might here something similar “I’ll be relaxed when…” or “I’ll be at peace when…” You know what I want to say when I hear phrases like that? Well probably you don’t know but I’ll tell you so you do! “Nooooooooooo!”. Very simply, the reason I respond like that, is because I want people to understand that being happy in the Now is just, if not more so, important. Ironic as it may seem, being happy now will actually get you to where you want to be far quicker than stressing about getting to where you want to be so you can be happy. Did you get that? Being happy now can provide all sorts of short-cuts to where you want to get to. Have you noticed that the better mood you’re in the more easily your life flows? The better the mood you’re in the more surprise solutions to your problems seem to appear from nowhere? When you focus upon being happy in the moment, not only does your life flow more easily, but it’s a hell of a lot more enjoyable and less stressful. We can become so blinkered to what’s going on around us at times because we’re so focused upon “getting somewhere”. We can also miss all sorts of delicious opportunities for fun and enjoyment – all because “we’re trying to get somewhere that will make us happy”.  Why deny yourself happiness in this moment? Why not say to yourself “I choose to feel happy now”. Chances are the happier you are now, you’ll create even more happiness on your route to where you’re trying to get to. Then it won’t matter if you necessarily get to where you were originally headed, or whether you decide upon a different goal altogether. The point is, you’ll be happy no matter what you decide to do, or how long it takes. Of course the other thing to think about here is, if you keep focusing on the fact that you’re not where you want to be so you can be happy, that’s what you’ll create more of. In other words, if your attention is always on “getting there” you’ll probably never get there. So, choose to be happy in the moment, and enjoy the journey to even more happiness. And if you do feel a bit down, just sing along: “Here's a little song I wrote, you might want to sing it note for note, don't worry, be happy” |
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It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others.
Sydney J Harris
Last night I was watching a programme about Amish teenagers having a visit to the UK. I found it absolutely fascinating. Just how different their lives are to those who live in a world where connection and interaction with others is a normal, everyday occurrence.
It was interesting to see just how accepting they were of each other within their community. There appeared to be no petty jealousies or in-fighting. No violence. Just an acceptance of a peaceful way of life, where everyone is part of a sharing community. Now I’m not saying that, for me, the Amish way of life is perfect as there were a few things and beliefs they have which really jarred with me. However, what really struck me was their acceptance of each other. What was also interesting was how they responded to all the new things in the outside world which completely went against their set of values and beliefs. At first, they appeared to struggle with the idea that people would have children without being married. It was interesting to see them moving to a place of tolerance and acceptance in a relatively short space of time.
Tolerance and acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean you have to agree with what another person does, but that you accept them for who and where they are. It also doesn’t mean you have to endure particular behaviours that you find uncomfortable.
Tolerance and acceptance can also mean you’re able to look past the exterior of the Ego Self and see the beauty of the Soul Self beneath. One of the young boys in the community made quite a poignant statement which really struck me “Just because someone is beautiful on the outside, it doesn’t mean they are on the inside. I look for the beauty beneath”.
In today’s society, it’s very easy to get caught up in the need to be fashionable and “classically good looking”, to focus purely on external image in order to be loved or attract others to us. There is so much pressure to look and dress in particular ways to be accepted. If only we could be more accepting of individual preferences for this kind of thing and, as the young Amish lad said “look for the beauty within”.
I think we’re all guilty at some point in our life of making some kind of judgement about others and the way they look and dress. It’s time we started to let go of this shallow way of valuing and judging others, and begin accepting them more for what’s inside, rather than how they look or dress.
Pay attention over the next few days and notice how often you hear yourself judging on how another person looks (whether in your head or out loud). If/when you find yourself doing it, don’t judge yourself “bad”, just let go of the thought and focus instead on looking for the beauty. Everyone is beautiful. Everyone is perfect. We just have to train ourselves to see it clearly.
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If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.
Marcus Aurelius
If you’ve been reading my musings for some time then you’ll know that I regularly talk about The Law of Attraction, and the power of positive thinking. No surprises today because I’m going to talk about it again ☺ The reason I say so much about it is because it’s so fundamentally important for us all to understand the power of our thoughts and feelings in terms of what the life we create for ourselves. When we are connected to our true self, our authentic self, feelings of joy and happiness really begin to flow. When we are connected to our true self and not our ego, we can think and act from a place of truth – as I was explaining last week. The more we connect with who we really are, the easier life can become. The more we connect with who we really are, the easier it is to create a life of joy and happiness.
So creation then. How do we do it? Basically we create by what we think and feel. What we think gives us feelings, our feelings have energy and power behind them that we send out into the world. Our thoughts create the actions that we take which will have a knock on effect in our lives and the lives of those we touch. So the long and short of it is, be careful what you think because where you put your focus is what you’re actually creating.
The thing about taking action when we’re creating is that it’s imperative that we take action from a place of centredness and happiness, not from a place of fear and panic. The problem with the latter is that a) we end up wasting our energy doing all sorts of things to try and sort things out and b) we make ourselves incredibly stressed and ill. The other important thing here about creating from a place of fear is when we try to take action and create from a place of fear what we do is actually create the thing we’re trying to avoid. Let me repeat that last bit again: we actually create the thing we’re trying to avoid.
Why is this? Because that’s where you’re focus is: on the fear, not on the place where you actually want to be. Let me give you an example, you’re running out of money and you’re beginning to panic about being able to pay the bills. So you think to yourself “I’ll do whatever I can to get more money so that I don’t end up going to court or losing my home” and then you start to look around fearfully for ways of making money. The more you try to find things, the less and less you find them. The more stressed you get. The nearer the date comes for when you need to pay your bills, and so you get more stressed and search even harder and still find nothing, or grab at the first opportunity even if you know it’s not really the most helpful thing to do. All because the focus is on “so I don’t end up going to court and losing my home”.
Let me give you another analogy. This time from the Harry Potter books by JK Rowling. For those that don’t know the story, here’s a very brief synopsis: Voldemort is an evil wizard trying to kill off Harry Potter and anyone who’s not a Pure Blood Wizard, and ultimately take control of everything. Now the thing that Voldemort feared most was that Harry could beat him because of part of a prophecy he’d heard. Voldemort totally feared what Harry might become so tried to kill him and ended up killing only Harry’s parents. If he hadn’t killed Harry’s parents Harry never would have grown up wanting to end Voldemort. Thus Voldemort set up his own downfall. Do you see? If Voldemort hadn’t gone out of his way to kill Harry he never would have set in motion Harry’s determination to take revenge.
Unlike Voldemort, we are all capable of love. We are all capable of being centred and of feeling good, despite what is going on around us. What we must do when we fear something is allow the fear to wash over us and focus instead on doing whatever we can to get back to a place of centredeness. We need to focus our thoughts on feeling good and take action from a place of love. We need to take action that will take us to where we want to be, not take action to avoid what we don’t want. Subtle difference I know, but it does make the world of difference.
One way of taking action is powerless and energy draining. The other way is empowered, powerful, and completely flowing. I know it can be challenging at times, especially when we feel the grip of fear take us over completely. Those are the times that we need to take some deep breaths and then do whatever we need to in order to get back to a place of centredness. Always act from the heart centre, never from nervous and fearful reflex.
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Truth resides in every human heart, and one has to search for it there, and to be guided by truth as one sees it. But no one has a right to coerce others to act according to his own view of truth.
Edmund Burke
Do you always tell the truth? By this I mean do you always speak and act from your authentic self? Some people will answer this question with something like this: “yes I do as long as I don’t think it is going to harm or upset someone”. A bit like that proverbial wife to husband “do I look fat in this dress?” and the insecure husband is not sure how to reply. It can all depend really on what the wife is actually asking. Is she really asking whether the dress makes her look good and works well for her, or is she seeking validation about her looks? Or is she asking something completely different?! Oh, and this isn’t just about women – men ask these kinds of questions too, I’m just using this as an example.
Speaking our truth is a choice we make and, with that choice, comes responsibility and a knowledge that not everyone will agree with us. Indeed, some people may well be angry and aggressive because their truth is different. So we need to be ready to face that – which can be an incredibly scary thing. Look at some of the people in the past who have spoken their truth and faced huge challenges because of it: Gandhi, Jesus, Martin Luther King, even Hitler. I know that some may gasp and react strongly to that last name – that aside all these people acted from a place of truth as they saw it.
However, we must also understand that our truth flows from the authentic self. The Soul (or Higher Self) which is a being of the purest, and most unconditional love imaginable, cannot act in such a way as to harm others. It’s not possible. So there are two “truths”, if you will. One that flows from the Authentic Self (the Soul), and one that flows from the Ego. The truths from the Ego actually have their seeds and origination in the truth from the Soul, however the Ego distorts these truths in subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) ways. The truth, as I see it, is that there is actually nothing wrong with working towards being as pure and loving as we possibly can be. It is when that turns into anger, resentment, violence, and hatred that we have deviated from Soul truth to Ego truth. It is when we try to force others to accept our truth (as Hitler did) that we have deviated from a place of unconditional love and acceptance, to a place of Fear.
Now remember, this is the truth as I see it. It may not be your truth. And that’s OK. There is room enough in the world for us all to speak and live our Soul Truth. Ultimately, the more connected we become to our unconditionally loving Soul, the more our truths will blend together in harmony. The more we connect with our Ego Self, the more our truths will be in conflict. The more we act from the truth of our authentic, Soul Self, the more our actions will uplift us and the world around us.
As a spiritual coach, people come to me to help them with their lives. They come to me to help them dissolve blocks and fears that are holding them back. Of course I am as supportive as I can be and nothing gives me more pleasure than seeing someone moving forward and enjoying life. However, there are also times when I notice that the person may be avoiding dealing with, or actually seeing something in their lives because of some kind of fear they have. The question is do I tell them what I can see and risk them being upset or angry, or do I not say anything and let them think it’s all OK. For me, the former is where I like to think I act from. That is why people return to me: because they know I will not just flatter them and instead will help them to see things from a clear and deep level.
When we speak our truth it doesn’t need to be cutting, angry, or rude. It doesn’t need to put others down. Truth is not about “right” and “wrong” it is about acting from a place of authenticity of who we really are (extensions of Source energy – i.e. Souls having a physical experience). When we choose to connect with the authenticity and purity of our Being, we cannot harm or hurt anyone else. It’s not possible.
Acting and speaking our truth, as I said above, takes courage. Courage to stand in our light, power, and truth knowing that there are others who will disagree and possibly even hate us for it. But the payoff is knowing that we are acting from a place of pure, unconditional love, and that we are being true to ourselves and our values. Further, understanding that speaking our truth is not making others wrong or putting them down. It is about being honest about who we are and where we are, and loving and honouring ourselves as much as we honour and love others.
Intention is the key here: the intention to speak our truth, and act from a place of mutual respect and pure, unconditional love. When truth comes from this place of unconditional love it may sometimes be painful at first, but it brings with it healing and insight. By acting in this way, we give permission to others to do the same, and find that others treat us with the same, loving respect.
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There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. Edith WhartonThere’s a lot of stuff out there in the form of books, CDs, websites, podcasts, youtube clips, etc explaining the how energy works in terms of creating and manifesting the life we want. I’m sure many of you have heard of “The Secret” film and book, and you may well also have heard about Esther and Jerry Hicks who channel “Abraham”. There’s a whole lot more out there too and much of it is really good stuff.  The long and short of the messages given in these materials is that we create the life we are currently living by what we are thinking and feeling. The better we feel the more positive life we are creating for ourselves. Some weeks ago I talked about Masaru Emoto, the Japanese scientist, who found that our thoughts  and feelings actually do have a significant impact upon the formation of the water crystals both within our own body and the world around us. Quite simply put, how we are thinking and feeling really does have an effect upon other people and the world around us – both positive and negative. My message this week is going to be quite direct: take responsibility for how you are feeling because, without doubt, your feelings and energy are effecting the world around you. Do you really want to be the one responsible for sending out such negative energy patterns that you are helping to bring down other people? Any negative thoughts and feelings that we send out could potentially be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Take for instance someone you know who is in a bit of a bad space at the moment. Any negative or unhelpful thoughts and feelings you have about that person could be the “straw” that, quite literally, tips them over the edge. Talking negatively about anyone sends them negative energy that will affect their energy system and life. You’ve all seen I’m sure those films, or read books, where the last interaction two people have is an argument or disagreement before one of them keels over and dies. The one who lives can end up feeling so guilty and upset that his/her last words to the person were not ones of love, support, and understanding. Now I’m not saying we have to go around being all fluffy and nice to people who we are finding quite annoying. But we can choose to disengage with them until they’re in a better space and, more importantly, not talk negatively about them to anyone else. Rather, hold a space for the person of love and acceptance for where they are, and visualise them centred and calm. That will do you both the world of good and help to uplift you both to a higher level of consciousness. We must take responsibility for the energy we flow and how we choose to respond to others. No longer can we use the excuse “he made me feel bad” or “she made me so angry”. Remember, we are all doing the best with what we have and where we are, even if we’re in an unhelpful space. At the end of the day, we expect tolerance and acceptance from others so it’s only fair we reciprocate. Isn’t it?
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It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others. Sydney J HarrisIt can be so very easy to make snap judgments about others when first meeting them, can’t it. I certainly don’t mean this in a critical way – more an observation (even though our first snap judgment may well be critical!). We have been conditioned to learn since childhood the apparent necessity to make decisions about people and situations quite quickly in order to respond in terms of possible “fight or flight”. What’s that phrase “you only have one chance to make a first impression” – that may well be true… but I believe you do have more than one chance to make a lasting impression. Let me give you an example of where I recently made a bit of a snap decision about someone and allowed myself to get a bit cross about it. Over the Solstice weekend I went to Glastonbury with Bill and the lovely Karen Peach (who co-created the Essences of Illumination with me) and her husband Chris. We stayed in quite a nice B&B within walking distance of the Tor and Glastonbury itself. However, I was slightly taken aback by my perception of the apparent blunt and slightly cold exterior of the person who ran it. Unfortunately I allowed myself to make a snap decision about her and all sorts of judgments flickered in and out of my thoughts. Not good! Not helpful. And, as it turns out, certainly not justified! Fortunately Bill reminded me not to get knocked off centre and to aim to see the whole of the person not just one aspect. Well done Bill! The morning after the first night we engaged our host in conversation and she completely lit up! Her demeanor changed completely! Talk about transformation. It was really pleasant chatting to her such that I felt such a pang of guilt about my previous judgments! Fortunately I didn’t allow myself to wallow too much in the guilt as that’s just the Ego self trying to beat us up (it’s a persistent little b*gger isn’t it! – the Ego I mean!).  The whole experience reminded me that it’s helpful to give something of ourselves to others before expecting them to open up to us. By holding back, all we’re doing is withholding from ourselves the love that everyone deserves. It also reminded me that we all have more than one aspect to us and we need tooak  look at bit more carefully to see things as they truly are. For example, when you look at the leaf of an oak tree, you know it’s an oak tree leaf.. however you also know that it’s not the tree itself. It’s just a part of it. By taking a step back, we can allow ourselves to see the whole tree – but even then, we’re only seeing one side of it. The real point here is about learning to take a step back and try to see as much of the person as you can without any judgment and before making any decisions about them. I’m not saying it’s wrong to discern that you do not wish to engage further with a person, just that it’s unhelpful to judge them for what you see initially. Is an oak tree any better than a yew tree? Certainly not… they’re different, have different qualities, and so have different strengths in how they can be put to use. The same goes for humans… we each have different qualities even though we’re all from the same race. Accepting diversity in a non-judgmental way can be one of the toughest challenges we have face in our physical experience, but when we’ve “got it” life can be so much more enjoyable! So the face you see on someone isn’t who they really are – it’s just one aspect that you’re seeing in that moment. The more you give to others in supporting and respecting them, the more likely you will be to see a more open, supportive, and respecting response. Remember, the world just reflects back to us what we ourselves are portraying…. What aspect are you portraying right now?
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"If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life? It is other life, it is love, which gives your life meaning. This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other, the joy of challenge, the joy of growth."
Mitsuge Saotomi
The journey of life can be challenging at times, but it doesn't have to be difficult. Challenge doesn't necessarily mean "difficult". I'm using the work "difficult" here to mean negative, depressing, too  much, horrible, unpleasant, stressful. I think you get the message of where I'm coming from here. Challenges are there to help us grow, learn, and evolve. No one said life was going to be always a walk in the park in the sunshine - sometimes we find ourselves walking in the park in the rain. Of course, we can always choose not to walk in the park in the rain if we want to ;-) But it can be fun splashing in puddles and getting wet, especially know that when we get home we can get dry and put clean, dry clothes on. It's how we view the rain that makes all the difference about whether we embrace or reject the experience. Of course, we can always take umbrella or wear a raincoat to keep ourselves dry too. There are lots of options. The other day, whilst walking through the park (strangely enough!) I had this sudden  understanding and realisation why some people choose to rock climb and explore. Now this may always have been obvious to you and, on one level, it always has been to me. But, I suddenly understood why many of these rock climbers and explorers keep on going. It's the challenge and excitement of trying something new. Once you've climbed on mountain, there's a drive to find another one. A different one. That requires perhaps slightly different skills. A different approach. The need for support from others to reach the top. It will teach new things as the rock climber faces new and, perhaps slightly tougher, challenges. There's that word again "challenges". I think I've always understood this on a logical level, but that day, walking through the park, I finally "got it!". It was like a lightbulb sparking on in my head and there was a loud "Aha!" moment! The reason we all incarnated in these physical experiences is NOT to have a difficult life, but to experience new and exciting challenges! Again, I've always understood this, but this deeper, more meaningful understanding helped me view things in a different light. Each challenge we face is not there to knock us back and stop us moving forward, it is there to help us grow and evolve! Look at this way, if all life offers us is the same challenges, day in, day out, yes of course we can get incredibly good at them. But what happens when we grow bored? And trust me, we will! There is an inherent need and drive in all of us to seek out the next challenge that will help us grow and, whether we like it or not, the Universe is pushing us to face these challenges. As I said above, it's how we view them that makes all the difference. So if you're in a challenging spot right now, take some time out to answer the following questions as honestly as you can: - How am I viewing this challenge? Positively? Or Negatively?
- How is this challenge helping me grow?
- Why did I ask for this challenge in my life?
- What skills do I need to develop or hone in order to deal with it?
- Am I, unnecessarily, trying to face this challenge alone?
- Right here, right now, what would make this challenge easier to deal with?
- Am I taking this all just a bit too seriously and dramatically?
- Am I just feeling sorry for myself and being a bit of a victim?
- How can I inject a bit of fun into it?
- Am I clear about what the rewards will be when I've succeeded?
Remember the wonderful saying by Gandhi "Be the change you want to see". In order to change your challenges and make them more exciting and palatable, one of the key things is to change your approach to them. One final point on this, no one will punish you if you decide to let go of a particular challenge and ask for another one. You may be a bit disappointed later that you didn't push yourself, but no one will think any less of you. You are who you are, and the Universe loves you unconditionally - no matter what you do. "We are extensions of Divine Source. We are the architects of our life. We are the creators of our experience. What are you creating?" Alun Illumine
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As we get older many of tend to get the impression that time is speeding up and that things are happening so much more quickly. In many ways this is actually true… although time itself is pretty constant and I’m not sure it is actually speeding up. However, what is occurring is that changes and shifts are happening far more often. There is a lot of information that one can find on the internet if doing a search for “2012” and most of it is not to do with the Olympics ☺ There are lots of beliefs and prophecies about what 2012 will bring… some positive, some negative. Regardless of your philosophy of life or your religion things are changing much more quickly now than they ever have before.  It’s a bit like the needle on an old 33 LP vinyl record…. The outside appears to move more slowly than the inside whereas they are actually moving at the same speed. As you move further into the centre, the record holds less and less information because the tracks are closer to the centre and so have smaller rings. This is unlike life, in that the closer we get to the centre (to Source), more experiences and changes are packed into a lesser space, and so change is happening more often despite time staying the same. But let me use a different metaphor to take this a step further. Imagine, if you will, a captain of a ship. A new captain is slightly raw and not comfortable or prepared to be able to deal with all the changes that can happen to shifting currents and weather whilst at sea. He (I’ll use “he” here for ease but it can just as easily be “she”) begins by making short trips out, learning about the sea upon which he sails, the currents, the trends, the local weather, the dangers, and areas to avoid or pay close attention to when sailing through them. The Captain can either grow in experience through learning to flow with the weather and currents, and weather the storms of change, or he can keep permanently to the shallows (or even the docks) and not move forward at all. The thing is, unlike the watery ocean on this planet, the sea of shifts and changes will force us, at some point, to leave the docks to which we may be clinging so desperately, and we need to know how to navigate. If we don’t listen to the rhythms of our bodies and the life going on around us, the journey for us can be unnecessarily choppy and unpleasant.  The Captain listens to the sounds of the sea, learns to sense the changes in the weather, knows his ship so well and, very importantly, takes good care of it. A good ship, cared for properly, can take a person anywhere he/she wishes to go. Another ship perhaps neglected in some ways can make the journey less pleasant and cause the captain to make unplanned stop-offs for repair and recuperation. Note I say “unplanned” for every captain knows that not all journeys can be made in one go ;-) The more we grow accustomed to the shifts of life, the easier they are for us to navigate. Each shift may well be slightly different, but there can still be similarities to things we’ve experienced and so we can draw upon our skills, knowledge, and strength to get us to where we’re going. The sea is something not necessarily to be feared, but definitely respected. Like life…. Life need not be feared, but definitely respected. Life is only a sea of torment and tortuousness if we view it that way. Viewed another way it is an excellent place for excitement, exploration, and embracing new opportunities. We do not have to deal with these shifts alone. There are other sea captains out there ready to help us and share their knowledge. We have a crew supporting us. Ultimately, however, we are the Captain of our ship and we make the final decisions about where and when we travel. Taking time out to review where you are right now on your “ship” is a good thing. Ask yourself these questions: - Are you clear about where your ship is headed?
- Are you sailing only in familiar waters because it feels safe?
- Are you holding yourself back from a new travelling experience?
- More importantly, do you know where your ship actually is right now?
- Do you need to take some time out to rest your ship and make any necessary repairs?
- Do you need to load up any cargo or supplies for your next journey?
- Do you need to connect with any other, more experienced, Captains to seek their advice?
Remember, you are the one to make decisions about your “earth vessel” in which you are having this current physical experience. Others can offer guidance, but the decisions lay with you. The more experienced at life you get, the easier and more enjoyable it becomes. |
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“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Carl RogersNow I’m not sure about you but when I hear those words I have to admit that one of the first things I think about is the song by Cher! Hmmmm! Whilst I’m not here to talk about the veritable merits (or otherwise!) of Cher’s music, some of the words in this song are actually quite pertinent to my musings today: If I could turn back time, If I could find a way, And take back those words that hurt you, Etc, etc I’m willing to bet that you’ve said words similar to yourself (or others) at some point in your life. I think we’ve all been there where we’ve either said or done something that has provoked a response from someone else. Whether that response was physical pain, emotional hurt, or an angry outburst there was still a reaction and an outcome which we regret.  The point is we cannot go back in time and change what has happened. We can only deal with what is. All too often something like this can happen and we then keep chewing over and over it, feeling worse and worse. I think Edith Piaff had the best approach with the song “Non, Je ne regretted rien” (No I have no regrets). Regret is an emotion which comes from the Ego. It’s not a very empowering emotion. It keeps us in a place of feeling dreadful, disappointed, and worst of all helpless. In one way, yes we are absolutely helpless in terms of actually changing the past. But we can learn from it. In order to move forward in life we need to learn how better to make peace with our past. If thinking about something that happened in your past brings back feelings of anger, fear, resentment, sadness, distress, embarrassment, or discomfort, it’s quite clear that you have not made peace with it. It will always be there in the corner of your mind. Like a jack-in-the-box that you keep pushing back down and closing the lid, hoping it’ll stay there. And, of course, it will… until someone comes along and accidentally pushes the button to operate it. It is then that all those negative feelings whoosh back out to be dealt with. Perhaps it’s better to fix a rocket to the jack-in-the-box so that when it does pop out it whizzes off somewhere never to be seen again! The thing about regrets is that they hold us back. We say things like “If only I had done such-and-such”, or “If only I hadn’t done such-and-such”. The thing is we did, or didn’t do whatever it was. Letting go of the past isn’t just about negative experiences though. There are occasions when we’re stuck in the past where “things were good” and we may regret or resent that they have changed. All things change. The one constant in life, is change. Reflection on the past can most certainly help – but only when it’s done from a place of centredness and unconditional love. I hear people say “That’s easy to say, but not easy to do”. My answer? “It’s as easy as we choose to make it”. I know that’s potentially going to slightly irritate some. The fact is, that is the truth. We can choose to wallow in regret, or we can choose to do something about where we are, reflect upon what we’ve learned, and then begin again the journey forward. The other thing about letting go of the past is, we don’t have to try doing it alone. There are quite a few ways I can think of, easy ways, that can help us make peace with the past: - Bach flower remedies (Willow can be good here for resentment, or Honeysuckle for living in the past) - EFT (emotional freedom technique) can help you let go of the negative emotions so that you can review the past from a more centred perspective  - Essences of Illumination/Illuminatrix – the Purity and Authenticity essences are great for letting go of that which is no longer helping you move forward - Writing down any negative feelings and emotions about how you are feeling about what happened (or didn’t happen) and then burning it. This can be quite cathartic - Reiki is a wonderful way of dissolving negative emotion and, because reiki transcends time and space, you can send the energy back to the situation to help heal it from then, as well as where you are now - Ho’oponopono (a wonderful, easy-to-do, technique from Hawaii: I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you). Talking to someone about what happened can also help, but only if it’s done from a place of centredness. Talking about the past in just a negative, resentment, and angry way just keeps adding to the negative energy of it. It needs to be done from a place of calm, centredness and, most importantly, from a place of non-judgement. And here’s the real thing about it all: it’s judgement that is one of the cornerstones of not letting go of, and making peace with, the past. We judge ourselves and we judge others. Unless and until we can let go of judging and judgements we’ll find it increasingly difficult to make peace with the past and move forward more freely. Using one or some of the techniques I’ve mentioned already can also help with letting go of judgements. I’ll leave you with this thought: The past has happened. We cannot change it. We can, however, change our feelings towards it. Let go of any feelings of powerlessness and being a victim. We are all incredibly powerful creators and have the power within us to create the lives we want. We can only do this if we are living in the Now. For remember, Now is all there is.
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The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own. Benjamin Disraeli
For me, one of the most wonderful feelings I can have at times is knowing that I’ve helped someone with a problem or situation they’re dealing with. It is my belief that we’re all here to help and support each other. However it is also my belief that we’re here to help and support ourselves too! Living a life of service to others is all very well, and commendable, however it’s no good if we’re not paying attention to ourselves and our own needs as well.
It can be very easy to get so drawn into helping others that we neglect our own needs and our own development. Sometimes this is down to avoidance of dealing with our own stuff so, by helping others with their issues, we can pop them under the carpet. Of course, life doesn’t work that way and at some point the carpet will be pulled back to reveal all the things we’ve shoved under it… usually because it’s so packed with things that we trip over it!
We can also become addicted to the feelings we get from helping others which helps us feel good about ourselves. This addiction can give us a sense of validation in terms of who we are and the contribution we make in life. The downside of course is that when we do something for someone who doesn’t necessarily thank us or acknowledge what we do, we can become very down, angry, and depressed. The tendency then can be either to get really angry with the person for not acknowledging what we’ve done or to withdraw from helping others completely and become resentful. Neither of which are helpful responses.
One question we can ask ourselves before jumping in to help someone else is “have they actually asked me for help?”. Actually, there are a couple more questions too:
• Do they look as if they need help?
• Do they look like they’re open to receiving help?
• Am I helping them because I genuinely want to help or because it will make me feel good?
Let’s look at this “helping business” from another point of view. If we continually rush in to help others who appear to be struggling we may actually not be helping them in the long run. For example, if a parent continually ties the child’s shoe laces because the child struggles to do it him/herself is that really helpful in the long run? I think one of the hardest things, but sometimes most helpful, we that can do at times is to lovingly stand back and allow the person we want to help to ask for it if he/she needs or wants it. “Oh yes,” I hear you say, “but what if he/she doesn’t have the confidence to ask for help or doesn’t like to feel like they’re imposing?”. Well here’s a bit of tough love… is that your issue or theirs?
In life we need to understand that there are times when we do need help and we must learn to let go of feelings of pride and/or inadequacy and actually ask for it. However, there are also times when it’s more helpful to try working things through for ourselves first. Otherwise how will we learn, grow, and develop? If we don’t develop ourselves we can become too reliant upon others to solve things and do things for us. The problem here, of course, is that a) we cannot always count on them being around when we need them and b) we can become so needy that it pushes people away from us. I’m sure you’ve been there with someone you know who has become so needy that you start to avoid them. Not comfortable for us or the person who’s being needy (and vice versa if we’re the ones being needy!).
When I think about this, I’m reminded of the “good Samaritan” who sees an old lady waiting by the curb of a road looking left and right, so he rushes to help her and practically forces her across the road. It’s only when he gets to the other side that she gets the chance to tell him she was waiting for a friend and didn’t need to cross the road at all!
I remember when I first started coaching people (scares me to think it was around 18 years ago!) I would quickly see what the potential solution could be for them and offer it up without giving them much opportunity to at least try to come up with options themselves. At times this was great as they went away happy knowing what they’d do next. Unfortunately, of course, none of us can ever really know what is best for someone else, especially when making life decisions, because we’re all different. Some clients became over-reliant on me finding solutions to their problems with the occasional blame because things didn’t turn out well when they’d tried what I suggested. I quickly learned to help them come up with options and decide for themselves what they would do. I still offer options but usually only when the person is struggling or if they ask me to, and then it’s only to get the ball rolling for them to consider other things they could do.
I know that my big sister won’t mind my saying that she has struggled with this at times with her three children. She hates to see them struggling or doing things that will bring them pain (both physical and emotional). But she knows, like most parents, you cannot stop your children from making mistakes, nor live their lives for them. How else will those we love be able to grow and evolve? By constantly rushing in to help we can actually cause more harm than good.
I’m not saying never help anyone else, just think first about whether it’s the most beneficial thing for you and them. Perhaps asking if they need help first before just rushing in is a more helpful approach?
Stopping briefly to ask ourselves those questions I mentioned above before rushing in to help others can be more beneficial to yourself and the person you want to help. For ease, here they are again:
• Do they look as if they need help?
• Have they actually asked me for help?
• Do they look like they’re open to receiving help?
• Am I helping them because I genuinely want to help or because it will make me feel good?
Let me add a final question to that list: “Is helping them actually the best thing for me to do right now?”
I know this is a bit of a long one this week, but there are so many elements to it that I wanted to touch on. To conclude, gauge the situation before rushing in to help and decide whether to offer it, or lovingly stand back and wait. Whichever you decide, make sure you do it from a place of centredness and not from ego.
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"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." Alexander Graham Bell The Universe in which we live is a wonderful place. Full of beauty and mystery. It is also incredibly powerful, and ever creating and evolving. It’s not often we think about what a powerful Creator the Universe is and, in addition, that we ourselves are made up from the same energy of creation. As the Universe expands, so too do we expand. As we expand, so too does the Universe expand. Just like in Hermetic Law: As above so below. As within so without. Bearing in mind this powerful ability to create, expand, and evolve, why is it, do you think, that we limit ourselves in what we try to create? So you probably all have heard of the Law of Attraction (i.e. what you think about and focus upon, you attract into your lives) and many of you will use that to manifest into your lives all the things you want (or unconsciously attract into your lives all the things you don’t want because that’s what you’re thinking about!). But here’s the thing…. How much do you really trust the Universe to send it or something better to you? So often I hear of people aiming to manifest something quite small because rather than something that they really want. For instance, someone I spoke to recently was trying to manifest for herself a weekend away because she felt she needed a break. I asked her “why not manifest a week or more?” “Oh no”, she replied, “I couldn’t do that because I can’t afford the time off”. Do you see how limiting that can be? If you’re going to aim to manifest these things you must trust the Universe to bring you everything you need to make it happen. If you really want at least a week off work, then go for it – the Universe really will provide you with everything you need to make it happen. However, all too often we get stuck in the “I can’t do that because….” And, if we’re really honest, “It’s too big for me to really manifest so I’ll make do with something smaller”. That’s like your mother telling you that you can have the whole day to play on a Saturday but you say “Oh no, I don’t deserve that I’ll just play for an hour”!!!! The thing is, you can’t “bank” the time you don’t use for use later… you need to grab the opportunities as they arise. Sure the Universe will always send you more, but why keep yourself in a place of hard work and tiredness? It’s a bit like saving for a rainy day…. Which can be helpful. Unless you never spend that money for fear of the rainy day. It’s key to remember that the Universe is limitless. Which means there is enough for everyone. Repeat this to yourself again and again (for the rest of your life if necessary!) until you believe it. Not everyone wants the same things or the same experiences because we’re all different. But even if we want similar things there is enough for everyone. The Universe will never run out. Plus it actually wants you to experience joy and happiness in your life, and so it will do whatever it can to bring you what you focus upon. It’s job is to create and evolve, and we, as extensions of the Universe, also create and evolve. In order to do that the Universe provides everything that we need. Our only job is to allow it into our experience and keep on creating, evolving, and experiencing. So back to this long weekend then… why not, when manifesting something, say to yourself “I want this or something better”. What if we are limiting ourselves to the long-weekend when the Universe is thinking “Ah but I was going to send you two weeks! Ok, if you only want the weekend, so be it”. Nothing is too big for us to manifest for ourselves and our experiences. We just need to trust that it will come to us, know that we deserve to receive it, and feel good about actually receiving it. We need to be in vibrational alignment with what we ask for. Remember, the moment we ask the Universe for something it is provided. Instantly. I’ll say it again, all we need to do is allow it into our experience by knowing we deserve to receive and feeling good about it. So remember two things: “there is enough for everyone” and “…. This or something better”. Don’t limit yourself to something small when Life wants to give you something huge.
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“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” Anatole France Self belief…. key to living a happy and fulfilling life, so simple and yet so challenging at times! When I was a little boy, we used to have a wonderful LP record (that’s a large black disk that has voices and/or music on it that plays on a record player for those that are too young to know what I mean!) with stories on it about Thomas The Tank Engine. I used to love listening to it and, I have to admit, I still like watching the children’s TV show portraying the stories now! Anyway, there was a great story on the record about Thomas (a little engine) and Gordon (a huge engine). Thomas pulled a couple of small carriages about and sometimes helped with shunting the goods trains too. Gordon, however, was the train responsible for pulling the express train that, as you can imagine, gave him quite a sense of self importance. To cut a long story short, Gordon one  day was told he had to pull a long train of goods carriages which was incredibly heavy. He complained and said that was beneath him but had no choice but to pull I the heavy carriages. Unfortunately he got stuck halfway up a hill and couldn’t get moving again. He needed the help of Thomas (the smaller, more lowly engine in Gordon’s eyes) to get moving again. Gordon was humiliated and angry and upset. All he kept saying to himself was “I can’t do it, I won’t do it”. Thomas, however, was a happy, optimistic little train and repeated “we can do it, we will do it”. Slowly by slowly Gordon began to move, although still saying “I can’t do it, I won’t do it” with Thomas, enthusiastic and believing as ever, repeating “we can do it, we will do it”. As Gordon built up speed he realised he was moving and his words changed from “I am doing it! I can do it! I will do it!”. Forgive my lapse into my childhood with that story, and I’m sure you probably know already where I’m going with this! However, I’m going to labour it anyway! Gordon is very much like the Ego Self: A bit self important, doesn’t like to try new things, likes to think it’s better than everyone else, and will give up when things get a bit challenging. However the Soul Self is very much like Thomas. It may appear small, but it’s a wonderful powerhouse full of energy, light, and enthusiasm. There is nothing that it cannot be, do, or achieve. It has Strength, and Determination, and is the Pure, Authentic, True Self. So there are two points I want to make this week: 1) In life, we must learn to be humble enough to take on tasks that might appear “lower” than us. For when we think like that we are judging that we are better than others – which is not the case at all. We are all equal in this world 2) In order to get things done, to change, to move forward, and to evolve, we must aim to have as much self belief as we can. If we keep telling ourselves we can’t do something then we won’t be able to do it, and vice versa. As the brilliant quote by Henry Ford goes “If you think you can, you’re right. And if you think you can’t, you’re also right.” We can create the life we want by believing in ourselves and what we can achieve. We just need to remind ourselves what powerful creators we really are. Remember: I think I can, I know I can. Say yes to what you do want rather than no to what you don’t want, then get out there and create it. The Universe believes in you, otherwise you wouldn’t be here now ;-) |
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"Capital as such is not evil; it is its wrong use that is evil. Capital in some form or other will always be needed." Mohandus K Gandhi I don’t think there is anything particularly spiritual about living in poverty, and yet so often our consciousness and ego self would have us believe that abundance, wealth, and prosperity are ‘bad” things. It’s amazing to discover how many hidden limiting beliefs we have about abundance and the attraction thereof. Just the other day I heard myself saying “I’ve always been in debt and so it doesn’t stress me”. And then it hit me “wow!” It was like I heard that sentence for the first time. Really heard it and understood it. If you relate that simple sentence to the cause and effect way we think: cause: I’ve always been in debt, effect: therefore I will always be in debt. Which, of course, is utter nonsense! That’s like saying “I’ve always lived in this place and therefore that means I always will”. It’s all about choice and focus isn’t it. There are a couple of themes I’d like to get into my musings today so I’ll try and keep it as succinct as possible. There is a difference, I think, to having non-attachment to wealth and its gain, and living in poverty consciousness. Having non-attachment (to me) means that if you lose it or it is taken away from you, you remain centred and confident that you will attract whatever you need to live a happy and comfortable life. Having poverty consciousness means hanging onto every penny you can for fear of never having enough. It also means being devastated were you to lose what you had and fearing that it’ll be too hard to get it back again. Do you see the difference? Abundance consciousness would be a person giving away their last penny to someone who needed it more – knowing that it will come back to them when it is needed. Whereas poverty consciousness is always of the view “I cannot afford to help someone else because then I won’t have enough” Therein lies the big deception that the ego, and much of society, would have us believe: “There is never enough to go around”. This is an abundant world and I’m absolutely of the belief that there is more than enough to go around. Sadly, though, the fear of not having enough prevails and there is a tendency not to give freely to those around us. We just don’t trust the Universe enough to provide whatever we need, when we need it. The dichotomy is that the more we give away selflessly, the more we attract into our lives. If everyone had this attitude then no one would go hungry because there would always be someone there to help us when we need it. Let’s also look at some of the limiting beliefs and unhelpful sayings we have about money: - “it doesn’t grow on trees”
- “it’s not easy to come by”
- “you have to work hard to receive it”
- “filthy rich”
- “dirty money”
- “you have to work your fingers to the bone to scratch out a living”
- “life is hard”
Have you ever heard yourself saying any of these or had them said to you? I’ve heard things like this all my life and I particularly love (as in find it amusing) how we refer to “the filthy rich”. As if it’s a bad thing to be rich! Well of course it is if we don’t feel we are rich ourselves! All that anger and resentment at the thing we wish for ourselves anyway! Of course, abundance isn’t just about money. Indeed not. Abundance is about everything we have in our lives: friends, food, clean water, love, bed to sleep in, clean home to live in, work, hobbies, beautiful nature, animals, birds, trees, flowers, and so on. Abundance consciousness is really about acknowledging all the wonderful things that we already have in our lives and appreciating them. Rather than focusing upon lack, focus instead upon the abundance already within our lives. Being rich or abundant is mentality, it really is. If you think you’re rich, and acknowledge the riches within your life already (and I do mean really acknowledge and appreciate them) then you will find it’s easy to stop worrying about where the money will come from. In conclusion, then, to have a rich and abundant life, it’s very much about how we think. In this Universe, the Law of Attraction (i.e. Like attracts like) is key. If you think you’re rich already then that’s what you’ll attract to you. If you think you’re poor, then exactly the same thing happens. Time to let go of attachment and let abundance flow into and through your life. Time to let go of limiting beliefs. Time to change those unhelpful sayings. Time to remind and affirm to ourselves: This is an abundant Universe, and there is enough for everyone – including me. |
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"Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it". Ralph Waldo EmersonHave you ever watched a river and pondered where it comes from? Where it’s going to? Or even, how it knows where to go? Some rivers flow straight and direct, and some meander along. The bendy river is no better or worse than the straight river, and the slow river is no better or worse than the fast, churning river. And vice versa. They’re all just rivers.  What got me to thinking about rivers was a television programme I saw recently about the Nile. Joanna Lumley was tracing it back from its outflow from Egypt into the sea right to it’s source. It was a wonderful programme showing how the Nile brings life and contact to so many different places and peoples. Never halting its flow. Flowing with determination and purpose. Sometimes meandering around but always, always flowing to the same end point – meeting up with the sea. The larger body of water. It was quite humbling to see source of the Nile: a tiny, muddy stream that was barely flowing. It’s hard to believe that this little trickle would turn into something so huge and that has such an effect upon the world around it. Do you think the little trickle knows it will turn into a huge river hundred and thousands of miles away? Who knows. If it did, I wonder if it would feel intimidated about the power it has and just stop where it was instead. I very much doubt it. Whether or not the Nile Trickle knows it will turn into a river, it just carries regardless. Without fear. Just flowing, and flowing. I think the key for me here was, the river didn’t really care – and I don’t mean that in a heartless way at all. The river just flowed and dealt with what was going on around it as it arrived. If the river was as big at its source as it gets further along, so much forest and life would be destroyed. So instead it gradually builds, in line with its surroundings, and they live in harmony together. So many people rely on the Nile for what it brings to them: a means of transport, food, a place to wash and clean, water for fields of crops, and so on. It also brings life for animals, birds, fish, insects, plants, and trees, and probably so much more that I haven’t mentioned. We can learn a lot from rivers like the Nile, and modelling upon it how we approach life is one of the most beneficial. Wherever we are on our journey right now – be it a tiny trickle, a gentle flow, or a rush and churn, it is so key to focus on where we are right now and not worry about how big we’ll end up getting or where we’ll end up. Of course, it’s good to have an overall purpose to head to. It’s also good to know that life will bring with it unforeseen twists and turns before we get to the end. It will bring us into contact with many people whom we can help along the way. Living a life of selfless service, whilst enjoying the journey. Sometimes it’s good not to know how powerful we can get right at the beginning of our journey or it might put us off starting it at all! Yes there’s a massive chance that we will. It’s inevitable that we’ll grow and evolve – just as the river does. But focusing upon the surroundings of where we are right now and enjoying the people and scenery is the most helpful thing to do. Just like a river, we need to build and grow in strength so that we’re more able to deal with the challenges further along in our life. Could you imagine trying to run the marathon at the age of 5? Or doing PhD maths at the age of 12? Do people who run the marathon and obtain a PhD in maths know they will do this at 5 and 12? Probably not – imagine how scared or intimidated you might feel! Do you see, it’s important for us not always to be aware of what we may do because we’re not necessarily ready mentally, physically, and emotionally to deal with it. To close, then, it’s good to have purpose, and it’s also good to share with others as we journey to and for our purpose. As we journey along we will also be supported. But all this can only really happen if we focus upon where we are on our river right now. As the saying goes: “Let go, and go with the flow”. Stop paddling back upstream when you see rapids just ahead – steer yourself around them or through them. The river always survives the rapids, despite everything being churned up and changed at the time. Just enjoy the bouncy ride!
"Let go and go with the flow"
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It’s very easy in life to get into the habit of blaming other people and situations for things that happen to us that we don’t like. “We didn’t have a good day at the beach because the weather wasn’t that good”. “I didn’t have a good time as a child because my parents did X to me”. “I got really frustrated at the delay because the man in front of me in the queue took ages”. And so on. Do you see one of the key words in all those sentences is the word “because”. Cause and effect. This happened because of that. We live in a cause and effect world – which is not necessarily a bad thing. However, it can be unhelpful when we get into the belief that everything that happens to us or around us is because of something or someone else rather than ourselves. Being realistic, how long can we really go on blaming other people from our past for what’s going on in our lives right now? Is it really that helpful to hang onto all that resentment towards something that is no longer in our lives? Two good questions to ask ourselves when we realise we’re hanging onto resentment are: “how is this serving me now?”, and “how could my life be different and better if I were to let it go for good?” You see, another thing about this prolific “blame culture” that currently exists is that it stops us taking responsibility for ourselves, where we are, and where we’re going. It’s a get out clause. An excuse. A reason not move ourselves forward and stay in a place of stagnation and fear – and a place of “feeling sorry for ourselves”. After all, if we get people to feel sorry for us then they’ll make our life better for us. Won’t they? Well they may try at first, but in the end those people tend to disengage from us – temporarily or permanently. Of course, we all need a bit of help now and then, and that’s not a bad thing at all. It gives others the opportunity to be of service, and for us and them to learn, experience, and share. However, there comes a time we need to give something back to them (or someone else) and ourselves. I love the phrase “God helps those who help themselves” and, religious beliefs aside, I find that life does seem to work like that. The more we take responsibility for who we are, where we are, and where we’re going, the more the Universe/Life supports us in that. There is so much change happening in the world around us right now that we just don’t have the time to wallow in old blame and resentment to others, or blame it for where we are right now. How many people need to disengage from us before we learn that we’re not helping ourselves by dwelling on past events and situations, or taking responsibility for choosing where to go next? Imagine how fantastic and wonderful life would be if no one blamed anyone else or anything else for anything. If we all lovingly connected with the peaceful soul within, and took responsibility for where we are right now, and what we are creating for the future. We all have a choice about how we respond to something – or whether we react. Just because someone else is choosing to be angry or fearful, doesn’t mean that we have to be too. Recognising where we’re letting our ego self get the better of us is the first step to reconnecting with the beautiful, loving, Authentic Self we really are. When we do realise it, we can ask ourselves those questions:1) how is this serving me?, and 2) how could life be better if I could let it go for good? “Let go, and go with the flow” |
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“Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don't go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won't laugh at you.” Jim RohnHave you ever heard that phrase “It’s better to give than to receive”? In many ways I’d agree with that statement. It can feel wonderful knowing that you’ve given something to someone that’s helped them or brought them a bit of happiness. When giving there’s that element of enjoyment about knowing you’ve helped. Instant satisfaction. Like smiling at someone in the street and seeing their face light up. But what about receiving? Is that such a bad thing? Is it wrong to allow others to help us too? We can be such prideful beings at times can’t we! There’s that fear that if we allow ourselves to receive then that makes us less than we really are. Not as good as others. Of course it’s OK when we’re giving because that means we’re contributing and making a difference. BUT, if we’re receiving… a whole different story! Which is of course utter nonsense. No one can go through life without even a little bit of help at times. The Ego would have us believe that by receiving help from others we’re beholden to them, or that they’re better than us. This is just another illusion to keep us in a place of stagnation and fear.  Let’s look this in a different way. Take an oil lamp. Without the oil and the wick, there is no flame. Without the flame there is no light. The Light allows the person filling the lamp to do so many things when it gets dark. The person using the light of the lamp looks after it and makes sure that there is enough wick and oil in the lamp to provide the light. So, in a sense, is giving something back to the lamp. It’s a cycle. Person fills lamp. Lamp provides light to the person, and so on. In the same way in life, we need to allow ourselves to receive from others in order to give of ourselves more fully. Given that we are all equal, all part of the same thing, which is The All That Is/Divine Source, what on earth makes us think we’re not good enough to receive? That’s like saying that a beautiful rose is not as good as a beautiful daffodil. Or course they’re just as good as each other – they’re just slightly different. However they’re still flowers. The bees and insects which fly into them allow themselves to receive the nectar to make honey and, at the same time, take the pollen to new flowers. The flower and bee both give and receive freely. It’s mutually beneficial. H  ere’s the thing: if we keep on giving and giving and giving until we’re ready to drop what use are we then? We are so pooped and penniless that we cannot continue giving to others. Whereas if we give and receive equally, in balance, then the cycle can continue on for as long as it needs to. Let me leave you with this final thought. Every time we stop ourselves receiving from someone who wishes to give to us, we are also denying them the joy and opportunity of giving. Think about it and gift yourself permission to receive just a little bit more ;-)
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"To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves -- there lies the great, singular power of self-respect." Joan Didion Life is all about expectations really isn’t it. Have you noticed that? What we expect to happen, and I do mean really expect to happen, usually does. I don’t mean here the half-hearted expectations – I mean the firm beliefs and intentions we set for ourselves about what we want from life. The challenge with expectations, of course, is that we all have different expectations both of ourselves and, as unhelpfully at times (!), other people. Let me expand upon that. I was in the supermarket the other day and I heard a mother telling her son she “didn’t expect him to behave that way in public because it embarrassed her”. Never mind that she was shouting this at him and drawing more attention to herself than he had in the first place by running up and down the aisle and accidentally knocking into someone (i.e me! ☺) Don’t worry this is not going to be a lecture about “good parenting”. I am the last to qualify on that given I have no children of my own. What I’m focusing upon here is the expectations we have of other people and how angry we allow ourselves to get when other people don’t live up to them. At the end of the day, why should they?! Isn’t that placing our model of the world around others and trying to force them to do what we want them to do, rather than allowing them the freedom of choice to act on their own conscience and guidance systems? Even children have their own guidance system and will learn quite quickly about what is helpful and unhelpful behaviour. Of course we’re here to give them guidance to help them navigate the world around them, but at the end of the day, no matter what you do, the child will make up its own mind about what it wants to do. And, as we get older, that sense of “Self” and expectation grows. If we expect ourselves continually to “fail” (although I don’t really like that word myself – there is no failure, just different outcomes) then we surely will. Put another way, if we expect ourselves not to deliver or manifest what it is we actually want then we never will. What’s that quote “whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’ll be right” (by Henry Ford). Going back to expectations by others, have you ever heard yourself (or someone around you) “I just never expected that of him/her”. Let me push a button and ask “why not?”. The thing with expectation is that, with it, comes judgment. If people don’t do what we expect there is potentially a positive or negative judgment that goes with it. Or, even better (!), if people do what we expect (i.e. behave in a way which we don’t like) there’s even more judgment!  Surely it’s better not to have expectations about other people and just focus upon expecting the best of and for ourselves. Let other people take care of their own expectations. So rather than thinking “Oh I hope that X doesn’t get drunk and start to become annoying”, think instead “I’m going to go out and expect to have a good time, regardless of what happens”. Do you see the difference? You’re putting the onus, and expectation, upon yourself and what you want to create for yourself.One last thought to leave you with…. When we are truly connected with the loving, authentic Self within, there is nothing that we could expect for ourselves that would harm anyone else. Fact. What will you expect for yourself today? Try expecting something wonderful and see what happens, but whatever does, I expect to connect with you again next week! ☺ |
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"Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." Erica JongEach passing moment brings with it a brand new opportunity to begin creating exactly what you want in life. All it takes is focus and remembering that you are the architect of your own life. That’s quite exciting though. Isn’t it? Knowing that you can create and enjoy whatever you want in life? The question is – do you know what you really want? Are you being honest with yourself about what you want and why you want it. The Ego Self is a tricky little bugger at times and will make you think you don’t want something when IT actually wants it. What I mean by that is, we complain about hardships in life and sometimes moan because “everything’s so awful” and yet the Ego Self is actually delighting in what’s going on because it’s keeping you in a place of stagnation. There can also be huge secondary gains from moaning about “everything being awful”: While you’re moaning people are feeling sorry for you; while you’re moaning you’re not actually taking responsibility for moving yourself forward; while you’re moaning there’s no fear of failure; while you’re moaning, there’s no fear of Success! The Ego Self would have you believe one of the best ways of getting attention and love from others is by having them feel sorry for you. At first, this can seem to be true as people run about doing whatever they can for you. Eventually though, people can become tired of it and/or frustrated because you appear not to be taking responsibility for helping yourself move forward. That just makes the situation worse and you end up feeling dreadful. Plus the people who care for you can find themselves detaching from the negative vortex of energy being created. Out of all this, the thing to remember is that we are extensions of The All That Is. It is in everything and it flows through everything. Here’s the thing: God didn’t make life difficult for us – we’re quite capable of doing that for ourselves! What God did do, is give us the power to create what we want and all we need do is take responsibility for where we are headed. The past has happened. No point dwelling on that. No point going on and on about ‘what a dreadful childhood’ you might have had. Or “what my last partner did to me”. The point is it has happened. Will you wallow in the energy of what was, or will you get excited and create something even better for yourself?  Every passing moment brings with it wonderful opportunities for creating exactly what you want. Did I say that already?! I think I did. And do you know what, I’ll say it again…. Every passing moment brings with it wonderful opportunities to create exactly what you want.
What do you want? What would make you feel better than where you are right now? What would make you so happy right now that you could burst with joy? When you are connected with the beautiful, unconditionally loving, selfless Deep Soul within, there is nothing you could want which would harm anyone else, or yourself. When you love yourself enough that you begin to create that which would bring you even more joy, you help others to do the same.
So as you begin this day, and every day, gift yourself permission to enjoy each moment as it arrives. Begin to get excited about the life you are creating for yourself, rather than wallowing in “what has been”. Affirm to yourself each day: Just for today, I take joyful responsibility for creating the life that I want.
Life was meant to a wonderful and enjoyable opportunity to grow and evolve – do you dare allow yourself to experience that? ;-)
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Last night I was watching Larkrise to Candleford (which is a period drama surrounding a town and a hamlet, specifically focused upon the Post Office). Dorkus, who owns the Post Office, was in a dilemma about whether to sell the Post Office to secure positions for her staff or keep it and end up losing them. This was all due to an event years ago where she’d let someone down. Despite deeply regretting it and trying to put it right, the other person just continued to try and make her life hell and “pay her back” for what she’d done to him. In the end…. Well you’ll just have to watch it to see what happens! BUT, suffice to say, it all works out for the best one way or another.
It can be incredibly upsetting to see people around us staunchly hanging onto old hurts and putting so much energy into “paying back” others for the pain which was caused. Whether or not the pain was caused intentionally in the first place, I ask is it help to keep hanging onto it? More often than not, when we don’t let go, it is us who suffers the most. Surely that’s just a waste of energy and focus? Were we really put on this earth to “get back” at those who’ve hurt us (whether inadvertently or not?).
Real forgiveness can take some time, admittedly, and one cannot always just forgive overnight. As I have said before – forgiveness does not mean that what was done was “right”, just that one is prepared to let it go and move on. If you find yourself really unable to forgive right now, it can be much more helpful to disengage (whether for the short, medium, or long-term) rather than keep prodding at the wound.
Hanging onto hurt and nurturing the pain is a bit like realising you have a bad cut on your arm that needs time to heal, and yet you keep pulling at it. Some hurts will heal with some antiseptic cream and a plaster, and others need a visit to hospital and some stitches – maybe even a hospital stay. Taking responsibility for how we feel and for own healing is a huge step along the way to forgiveness and our happiness. Is it really that helpful to continue hanging onto pain years after the event? Just think of all the other things a person can achieve if he/she wasn’t wasting energy focusing on something that has now gone. There’s only so long we can blame others for stopping us moving forward.
 When refusing to let go of an old hurt because of pride and resentment, who then becomes the creator of unhappiness for all concerned? The original person who caused the hurt, or the person who will not let it go?
I remember a brilliant quote channeled by Esther Hicks during one of her and Jerry’s Law of Attraction events: “What is it I am focusing upon in the other person that is stopping me from connecting with who I really am?”
Let’s face it, when we are connected with the Deep Soul within, the Authentic Soul which is full of Purity, we know and understand that NOTHING can really harm us. We are Infinite Beings of Light and Love – part of The All That Is – which is Pure, Perfect Love. It is only when we identify and connect with the Ego Self, which will have us believe that we “need to pay the person back” that we feel discontentment, resentment, and the need for revenge. I know which one I like to choose to connect with. Of course I, like you and so many others, don’t always make the connected straight away, but that’s so where I like to be in the end: connected to Pure, Perfect, Love.
I’ll leave you with this thought – when it comes to healing hurts and wounds, it can be better to disengage rather than dis-empower.
"We are extensions of Divine Source. We are the architects of our life. We are the creators of our experience. What are you creating?" Alun Illumine |
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 Over the last week I have had a few clients (5 to give you the exact figure) approach me, in one way or another, about dealing with anger and forgiveness. Now when the Universe sends me this kind of thing I usually take notice. If I don’t then the Universe just makes the nudge a little stronger! It got me to thinking about it over the last two days – forgiveness that is. It can be so easy to hang onto and harbour resentment to those whom we believe have hurt us. I know there are going to be messages in my musings today that will push some buttons in some. There will be those who agree with me. Those who don’t. And that’s absolutely fine. We are all where we are and we are all doing the best we can with what we have. Let me start, then, by saying: Forgiveness is a choice we make moment to moment. Do we forgive someone and begin to move on? Or do we allow ourselves to stand still – or even move backwards? “That’s easy to say not easy to do” is what I hear quite regularly. And my answer is – it’s as easy as we choose to make it. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you think what they did was right, or helpful. It means that you’re prepared to let it go and not allow it to hold the other person and, as importantly, yourself back. As we go through life we experience things – experience “contrast” if you like and that can be the prompt for us to think and feel lots of different things. But let’s be clear – that’s why we wanted this physical experience in the first place! To experience contrast! Once something has happened it’s up to us to learn from it so that we, and Consciousness as a whole, can grow and evolve. It can be painful at first, but by forgiving we can heal that pain so much more quickly. It is true that my own mother and I have not always seen eye-to-eye and there have been some quite… how shall I put it… “contrasting experiences” between us! Mostly I feel I’ve let go of the things that I feel hurt by but, every now and then, something will pop into my head about something that happened that sparks an angry and resentful reaction within me. It is then, in those moments, that I do my very best to breathe it out, and let it go. My mother and I are not who we were then. We have both grown. We have both learned. And, most importantly, we have moved on. Why allow myself to go back to that time and experience again and again the things that I felt hurt by? Why resent my mother now and cause current distress for things that have happened in the past? Clearly that is my stuff causing problems in The Now, and not hers. Forgiveness is a choice we make moment to moment. Let’s take a brief look at the life of Jesus. He spent his life teaching, helping, healing, and learning and, all through it, he dealt with anger and resentment from others who were not ready to hear his message. At the end of it all, he was ridiculed, whipped with a scourge, had a crown of thorns put on his head, and then was nailed to a cross and left to die. I’m not sure if you know, but (as I understand it) the crosses then also had a little platform for those being crucified to use to rest upon. Hanging from your arms alone makes it incredibly difficult to breathe and so many people died on the cross through suffocation. Now that platform was not put there to ease the pain, but to prolong it. After all this, Jesus still managed to be completely forgiving to those that had tortured and hurt him. Surely, if one man can forgive so much, we can forgive too? Forgiveness is a choice we make moment to moment. To finish off this week’s musing, then, I’ll ask: “do you want to be right or do you want love?” Do your very best to let go of anger as it’s just the Ego Self’s way of keeping you in a place of fear and pain. No one can ask more of you than you at least try to forgive and move on. And that includes forgiving yourself. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean what was done was right, just that you’re prepared to let it go and find peace. Forgiveness is a choice we make, moment to moment. |
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 There is a saying that you have probably heard before and, if you haven’t, then it’s a new experience for you! (Which is a good thing). The saying goes “The world is your oyster” and never a truer word has been spoken. Unlike real oysters, where only some have pearls within them, every single life on this planet has a pearl within it somewhere. It’s up to each one of us to discover what that is. But then, that’s part of the fun isn’t it? Exploring and experiencing. And, when you do find it, all the things you can do with your pearl. Now the best place to find your pearl is within your heart. You will never find it externally. In the same way that you never see a pearl attached to the outside of an oyster. The pearl is formed inside the shell. Just as our “shell”, if you will, is the exterior we show to others. There is an excitement by divers searching for real pearls as to which oysters will have them. As life goes on, and the diver becomes more experienced, it becomes easier to spot the oysters most likely to have them. Life is very much like that all the world over – if we allow it to be. So let me ask you, are you excited each morning as you wake up about what the day will bring? Or are you disheartened, worried, and distressed? It’s all about choice – but you know that already as I’ve mentioned it so often in my musings. Let’s take this back a step. The purpose of the Universe (the All That Is) is to create, expand, and experience – lovingly, abundantly, and joyfully. We are all a part of the All That Is whether we know it (or like it) that’s just the way it is. It pervades everything. That is why there is drive, no matter how depressed or down you get, to experience new things. Admittedly that drive might be on a low ebb, but it’s still there – as is the Want to create something different. It is through contrast that we are able to create something better for ourselves.  We opted to have this human experience because we Knew, we absolutely KNEW, that it would bring fantastic opportunities to learn, grow, develop, and experience wonderful new things. We’ve all been given this opportunity to experience SO much. It’s a bit like being taken to an amusement park for the first time – so many different rides to experience. So many different foods to try. So much fun to have. Even the rides that you try but don’t find as fun. They’re all learning experiences and opportunities to have fun. Life is like that. You’ve been given a brilliant chance to experience so much and, even better, YOU get to choose what you experience. Do you get that? YOU and only you get to choose what you want to experience and you do this by consciously making that decision, moment-to-moment. Whatever you are experiencing is in direct relation to where you’ve put your creative focus. Let’s go back to this amusement park. You’ve found a ride that looks like it could be good and you try it out. You find that, actually, it’s not very good at all. It makes you feel all dizzy, scared, and sick. So do you learn from that, or do you get on again in the hope that it might change? Imagine doing that again and again and realising, after each ride, that the ride and your reaction to it is not going to change. You still don’t like it! Question: why not try a different ride?! You don’t have to just experience that one. If you don’t like rollercoasters, go try the merry-go-round or maybe the log flume, or the pirate ship etc. You have a choice. I really want today to get across how exciting life really is and I hope that you can feel the energy of that through my words. Really tap into it. I’ll say it again “Life is a wonderful and fantastic opportunity for you to experience so much”. You chose to come here. So if you don’t like the current ride, go find another one! It really is as simple as that. If you tell yourself it’s not, then all you’re doing is getting back on the same rollercoaster that makes you feel bad. And that’s OK. When you get bored of doing it, the other rides will all still be there. But why waste time moaning about what is, and go get excited about what the next thing might be! Then go create it! Enjoy! |
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It’s very easy to get caught up in doing things and behaving in a way that the world expects you to. There is such a pressure upon us to conform to the majority’s wishes. But who are you? Underneath the persona and image that you present to the world, and to yourself for that matter, who are you really? If you ever watch a young child, you can see them playing and behaving without feeling self conscious about what anyone else thinks. They act and think perfectly well for themselves. Then they begin to learn the boundaries of what is “acceptable behaviour” and when “they are being silly”. It is then that they begin to understand being self conscious and conforming to those around them. It is natural for a child to learn from older people what things are safe for them to do or not – and that is a good thing. What is perhaps not so helpful, is when those around them force them to behave in a way that doesn’t feel right or bring them joy. Recently I was watching a film by Dr Wayne Dyer called “The Shift” (which is a brilliant film and well worth seeing). In the film, Wayne describes to a mother (who’s constantly on at her children because she’s terrified they’ll upset or annoy those around them) that he practices what is called “non interference”. He explains that each one of us has a compass within that guides us and we each need to learn how to use it to navigate through life. Children, indeed everyone, learns to use this compass at some point and does not need constant badgering and hassling from others to force them to do things the way the other person wants them to. As we grow older our Ego Self tends to get more of a grip over us, how we behave, and who we portray to others. This is not who we really are. We are not the responsibilities or the role that we force upon ourselves. We are Beings of Divine Source having a physical experience. Deep within each of us is the loving, patient, joyful, sharing, creating, expanding, powerful, and beautiful authentic self. We are perfect. Whole. Connected. Rather than trying to force others to do things and behave in the way we want them to because that would make us happy, better to connect with who we really are and then help others do the same. When we act from a place of centredness and connection with the Divine Source within, we understand that we are all connected and so do not try to force others to our will, or be negative towards them in any way. Becoming and staying centred is not something that can necessarily be achieved easily over night. However, with each passing moment, with each passing breath, we can use our intention to connect with our pure and authentic selves. If we find we’re disconnected and being grouchy or irritable because someone isn’t doing what we want them to, it’s then that we can remind ourselves to take a deep breath and reconnect with the Divine Source within. It’s all about choice and intention. Intend to connect with the Divine Source within you and it will become easier with time… to the point that you’re doing it without thinking about it. At the same time, when you’re interacting with others, intend to connect with their authentic self too. Aim to see past the illusion Ego Self and interactions can be a whole lot smoother and enjoyable.
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 What do you think of your body? Do you like it? Do you hate it? Do you think it’s OK? Do you love it? Take a few minutes just to think about your body. Are there bits that you like and bits that you don’t? What would you change if you could? And if you could change it, why would you want to change it? For yourself or to please others? Excuse my Socratic questioning to start this week’s musing as there aren’t really any right or wrong answer to those questions. However there are helpful and unhelpful answers in terms of how you think and treat yourself. In life, people tend to think about and treat us in a similar way to how we think about and treat ourselves. So if you don’t like the way you look then people around you will respond to that. I think many of us have days where we look in the mirror and think “do you know, I’m not half bad” and we go out feeling good. The response we get from others is typically the same I find. They smile and are much more complimentary about me. Now I’m not saying we should all go out looking for compliments – after all, at the end of the day what other people think about us and whether they think we’re “attractive” or not really doesn’t matter. The thing to remember is this, The All That Is (of which you are most definitely a part) created the body in which your Soul currently resides. Everything that the All That Is creates is perfect and beautiful. Therefore, you must be perfect and beautiful too. Think about it this way. You have the perfect body for what you need to achieve and learn in this physical experience you’re having right now. Another body would most certainly now allow you to learn what you need to learn as effectively.  Now here’s another take on it. Masuru Emoto, is a man who did lots of experiments upon water crystals and the effect that emotions, actions and feelings had upon them. He found that when you focused angry and negative thoughts at water, the crystals within it became malformed and unpleasant to look at. Whereas when positive, happy, and joyful thoughts were focused the crystals became even more beautiful and wonderfully formed. 
Why am I telling you about this obscure Japanese Scientist? Well… think about your body again for a moment. It is made up of around 70% water. So…. If we take the principle that your thoughts and emotions affect water crystals in a glass of water, they will also affect the water within your own body. Ergo, the better you think about yourself the more healthy you can become. This relates too to how you think about other people. Your thoughts and feelings will have an effect upon those around you in the same way.
Now if you’ve spent most of your life telling yourself negative things about how you look “I’m fat”, “I’m ugly” “I’m not attractive” telling yourself the opposite can be quite challenging and end up being completely counter-productive. So why not try “Today I’m going to like myself more for who I am” or something one those lines. Or “just for today I’m going to love myself for me” or “I accept all of myself, deeply and completely”. Not only will this have a positive effect upon your physical body, it will also help to reprogram your subconscious mind.
Remember, energy follows thought – this has been demonstrated both by Mr Emoto, and other quantum physicists around the world. You literally “are what you think”. Final reminder – you are a beautiful being and everything about you is perfect right now. I’ll say it again – you have the perfect body right now to teach you everything you need for this physical experience. Love it and appreciate it for giving you the opportunity to have this physical experience. |
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 Who were you yesterday? Take a moment to think about the following: - who you were
- what you were doing
- why you were doing it
- how you were feeling
- how you were behaving
So what did you come up with? Did you find that easy or hard? To be honest it doesn’t really matter what your answers were to those descriptors because what does matter is who you will be today. We are not who we were yesterday. Indeed, in each new moment we are not who we were just a moment before that! We cannot be. Our bodies are changing all the time, as is the world around us. This means that our experiences, every single one of them, also affect us so that we are different from who we were previously. The reason for these rhetorical questions is to remind you that you can be who or whatever you want at any given time.  Remember when you were a child, you probably dressed up and “played” at some point. Perhaps you had a dressing up box too – we didn’t but I wish we did! Anyway, if you think back, or actually watch young children dressing up, they really take on the roles of who they’re pretending to be. For that few hours of play, that child really is “Superman” or “The Doctor” or “Wonder Woman” and so on. The thing about these roles as you get older is that the more you “play” at the role, the more you actually become it. You are teaching yourself to behave in a particular way. The thing with us as we get older and play out different roles is that forget that we can take off the particular costume and either be someone else, or just really be ourselves. By that latter statement I mean the authentic, loving, compassionate, forgiving, understanding, and lots of other positive “ings” – because that’s who we really are. Soul consciousness which is just a part of The All That Is. We also need to remember that the others are really not the roles they play – they also are Consciousness incarnate. The Ego would have us believe the roles we and others play to keep us in a place of stagnation and fear. You know that the little girl in the fairy costume is still the little girl you know and love even if she is “being a fairy” right now. So too are you the loving Soul underneath the role of “grumpy person” that you may sometimes choose to be. It’s important to remind ourselves that we can be whoever or whatever we want to be. Our past only restricts us if we allow it to. Knowing that you are not the person you were yesterday, who will you be today? What do you want to feel? What will you do to make yourself happier and more in touch with who you really are? You are Soul Consciousness – will you choose that or will you allow the Ego to choose a role for you? Whatever you choose, remind yourself that, in any given moment, you can always choose something different. |
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 We are all more than what we do and what we actually see. Bear this in mind the whole time you read this musing and, indeed, for the rest of your life. For it is true – we are more than what we do.
A few experiences have really brought this to the front of my mind recently and I’d like to share them with you.
I was watching a drama on TV recently about a group of forensic pathologists who work with the police to solve crimes (Silent Witness). A recent episode was about gang culture and turf wars around London – no so very far from where I live. I found it quite disturbing to watch groups of youths gang raping girls to initiate them into the group, and also the senseless violence of stabbing each other to show prowess and mark territory. Now whilst this was just a television show, this kind of behaviour can be borne out just by listening to the news.
I found it quite shocking not only because of what I saw but also the anger, resentment and hidden prejudices I found within me. The latter upset me the most I think. I found myself getting quite fearful about being attacked given how close all these (well known) trouble spots are to where I live – in spite of the fact that I’ve lived here for 13 years without any problems whatsoever! The anger and resentment towards these groups was quite pronounced and that I find disturbing too. It was then that I heard in my head a calm voice saying “remember, we are all more than what we do and what we see”. This calm voice cut right through the fear and allowed me to become centred again.
The Ego is a thing that would have us stay in a place of fear and stagnation – not moving forward and needing to put others down to a) get ahead and b) make us feel good about ourselves. We attack when we feel threatened and we learn behaviour from what we see around us. These youths on the program were clearly acting in a way that they had learned from watching those around them, and also because behaving in that way made them feel better about themselves. Whether or not we agree with what they did it is what we can find ourselves doing when we don’t know any other way of making ourselves feel better and safer.<br> <br> I have also witnessed a couple of arguments by people around me who have verbally attacked each other because they fear not being good enough and/or not being loved. This is the Ego in play again – making us believe that we need to behave this way in order to feel better about ourselves and to show others that we are worth more. When people are aggressive and attack all it is, in the grand scheme of things, is a cry for love.
 This all stems from a place of fear of not being loved and worth loving. Simple as that. Underneath the Ego, is the beautiful Soul-Self that is connected to everyone and everything. That is who and what we truly are. When we Know this it becomes so much easier to show compassion, understanding, and forgiveness. It doesn’t mean that what the other person has done was right – just that it is their Ego and no who they really are. This means that we can continue loving them for the beautiful Soul that they are, forgive them for what they have done, and allow the hurt, grief, and anger to dissolve away.
The key message from this really is: choose to look past the Ego of those you meet and interact with, and, using your intention, connect with the amazingly beautiful Soul that lies in the centre. Do this for yourself too…. For that is the true essence of who we really are.
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 “Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good; that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding; and that there is always tomorrow.” ~ Dorothy Thompson Although we may not understand it at the time, everything in life happens for a reason. At the heart of everything that happens is learning, growth, and evolution. That’s such an important and key thing to understand that I’m going to repeat it “Everything we experience helps us to grow, learn and evolve”. Bearing in mind we are all a part of the All That Is, when we grow and evolve, so too does Collective Consciousness/The All That Is. What prompted me to write today’s thought was an excellent television programme I watched last night about Mo Mowlam. For those who do not know, Mo was an MP who became the Secretary of State for Northern Ireland back in the 90s when New Labour were elected as the British Government. This was the time when the IRA and Sinn Fein were still actively causing violence and destruction and Mo was sent over to Northern Ireland to broker peace – which she did. Relax now as this is not going to be a political broadcast I promise. At the same time, Mo was told she had a brain tumour and had to deal with the outcomes of that and the radiotherapy. Rather than just sit back and wait for the inevitable, Mo used the illness to drive herself and motivate herself to do what she needed to do. Some might say she was unscrupulous in her use of her wig to gain the advantage during the peace talks! However, pulling her wig off didn’t cause anyone to get hurt and, if she hadn’t lost her hair she wouldn’t have been able to use the removal of her wig to help break down barriers. Later on, it becomes clear that Mo may well have had her tumour for many years before it became known. Further, the tumour itself affected her behaviour and her personality – what she went through on finding that out was distress about knowing who she really was. What was really “Mo Mowlam” and what was really “tumour” in terms of her personality.  The point here is not about political leanings and views, but about understanding the key thing behind the story. If Mo hadn’t had tumour, would she really have been able to do what she needed to do? Who knows. The long and short of it is, she became aware of it, and dealt with it. Sure there were times when I’m sure she felt dreadful physically, mentally, and emotionally because of it, but that didn’t stop her. She used it to her advantage rather than just giving up and moaning about it.
This kind of story can make you think about your own life and the things that you’re dealing with. Are they really as bad as all that, that you give up? Or will you accept what is, try to change what you can, and keep heading towards the things that you really want? Hindsight is a wonderful thing if used correctly. It can help you see where in your life major things have happened that, at the time, were quite traumatic, but in the long-term actually benefited you, your life, and the lives of those around you in positive ways. It’s worth reflecting upon your own life right now and the things you’re dealing with. What is the learning for you? How can you use it to push yourself forward and be the best you that you can be? |
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 Think of a time when you met someone you really like and admire. It could be recently, it could be some time ago, but think back to that meeting. Think about how you were feeling when you spoke to that person. Picture it in your head if you can. What did they say that made you feel good? What did they do that made you feel good? It might just be that you enjoy being in their company and feel comfortable, safe, happy, and peaceful while they’re near you. It’s wonderful to feel like that because of being around someone else isn’t it. But here’s the thing…. All the other person is really doing, is reflecting back to you that comforting, beautiful light that you have yourself. What we look for in others is what we actually see in ourselves, whether or not we realise that. That’s why we sometimes get cross with someone – because we experience them doing something that, deep down, we can sometimes see in ourselves. What we look for in others is mostly an unconscious thing. Unless we actively choose to live in the Now (i.e. in the present moment) we float through life automatically looking for things in others that we see in ourselves. Like attracts like. The more we see the good things in others, the more they reflect back to us the good things we see in ourselves. Ultimately, meaning we focus more on the good things and magnify them, shrinking and dissolving the “bad” things so they no longer exist. There really are no such things as “bad” things – although I know there are some who will read this and completely disagree. Fear isn’t a bad thing – it’s just very unhelpful. Everything we do has different outcomes. Some are helpful, others are unhelpful – that doesn’t make them bad – just different. The more we love ourselves and shine our light, the more we dissolve the fears within us and our lives. Standing in our own power and light we see that reflected in those we meet for, remember, we are ALL a part of the same thing. Therefore, the beautiful Light and warmth you see in others, is also in you! It’s worth making a note of the things you notice in other people that you admire and that make you feel good. The more you notice them in others, the more you can notice them in yourself. Especially when you remind yourself “The people I meet mirror the beautiful Light within me – and so that is all I will look for”. |
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 When I was very young, my sister and I used to listen to a record (an LP… so quite a long time ago!) which was an adventure story about Noddy and Big Ears for children. The story was based on the lines of Noddy feeling self confident and being proud of who he was. However, he took it too far and became quite arrogant which resulted in his head swelling so much that his hat wouldn’t fit. He was rude to people because he wanted them to see how clever he was. His friends offered to help him but at first he ignored them and told them he didn’t need their help. Eventually he found that returning to school was the only thing he could do to learn that others were just as clever as he, albeit in slightly different ways. Eventually Noddy realised how over-proud he’d been and his head reduced to its normal size meaning he could wear his hat again.
I hope you enjoyed that little story ☺ Now the lesson here for Noddy was to learn humility and not be arrogant. There are also elements here of not comparing ourselves with others and judging them (and ourselves) negatively.
Whilst it is not helpful to be arrogant and overly-proud, neither is it helpful to be so humble as to disrespect all the things we have achieved. It’s OK to feel good about yourself and the things that you have achieved. As the quote by Marianne Wiliamson suggests, when we love and respect ourselves (honestly and without arrogance) we help others to see that they can do that too. If we keep putting ourselves down not only does it make us feel bad, and not only are we giving others permission to do the same to us, we’re also showing them that it’s OK to that to themselves too! Children watch their parents and guardians and emulate their behaviour. If we cannot love and respect ourselves how on earth can we expect those we teach, and those around us to love and respect themselves and us as well?
At the start of each year many of us make New Year’s Resolutions, or define goals, aims, achievements for the forthcoming year. As part of that process it’s good to have milestones in place so you can track your progress and see how far you’ve come. It’s also good to build in treats and rewards (or whatever you prefer to call them) as well. If you don’t honour yourself and the steps you’ve taken so, can you really expect to achieve what you set out to?
If you feel you’ve done a good job it’s OK to feel good about it. If you’re pleased with something you’ve achieved, or a situation you’ve handled, or someone you’ve helped, etc, etc, that’s OK! It’s even OK to talk to people about it… where it becomes unhelpful is when that’s the only thing you talk about and when you start thinking you are better than everyone else. It’s not a case of “being better than others”, it’s about loving and respecting yourself for the journey you’re on and the wonderful steps forward you are taking.
Be aware of how you speak to yourself when you’ve done something that, if someone else had done it, you’d have congratulated them. Remember, the more you love and respect yourself, the more you give permission to others to do the same for themselves and for you.
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 For many people, the New Year brought with it goals, aims, objectives, and dreams which they want to achieve by the end of the year and beyond. The first few days everything goes well with lots of “feeling good” emotions going on which provides the driving force to achieve what they want. However, we’re getting to a crucial time where the initial “drive” can begin to wane somewhat, especially when it comes to things like giving up smoking or losing weight.
Let me take you back to when you were learning to ride a bike or learning to swim, or even learning to walk! Have you ever watched a baby learning to walk? They just keep on trying – no matter how many times they fall over, they just get up and try again. Even if they get hurt falling over and have a cry, they still carry on trying. Why do you think that is? Partly to do with a hereditary push to walk, no one has told the child to stop learning or that it’s “too difficult so give up”.
As we grow up, we learn that there are certain things that we don’t have to do to live but if we did them we’d probably be a lot happier. At school we learned things because we were told to and because we knew that, if we didn’t, we’d either get into trouble or not get good results in exams etc. At work we do our work because we know if we don’t we’ll get told off or potentially fired. Do you see the link here? Very often in our lives we’ve done things and kept at them because we’ve feared what the consequences might be if we don’t. So when it comes to our personal lives there isn’t this fear and so it’s easier to “give up”.
So for the things you want to achieve, let us look at it another way. Do we really need to be motivated by fear to get things done? Can we not be motivated by other means instead? Such as feeling fantastic when we’ve done what we wanted to do? Such as feeling the relief when we see how our bank balance has improved? Such as feeling the joy when we can fit into that pair of jeans that have been sitting in the wardrobe for 2 years gathering dust? And so on.
Now is a crucial time for keeping on going. Results aren’t always necessarily obvious at first and that can be a bit disheartening. That’s why focusing on all the good things that will happen as a result of your having done what you said you’d do can really help keep you motivated. Every January I stop drinking alcohol for the whole month, and I also give something up during lent. Neither of these are particularly focused on anything religious or being healthy for me. In my case I do it to prove to myself that I can achieve anything I want if I just keep going.
So while you’re thinking about your aims and dreams for this year, start writing down what it will look like when you’ve achieve it. What will you hear said about you and what will you say? How will you feel? What will success taste and smell like? Keep this near you for those moments when you feel like giving in. Talk to others to help keep yourself motivated and so on. One last thing to remember, it’s just when we’re about to give up that things either get easier or are about to be achieved. As Kate Bush sings:
“Don't give up
'Cause you have friends
Don't give up
You're not beaten yet
Don't give up
I know you can make it good”
So believe in yourself, keep on going, and know that, at the end of the day, you are worth investing your time and effort into – never forget that. Oh and one other last thing… it only takes about 21 days to make something into a habit ;-)
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 There’s a line in Star Wars (Episode IV – or the first Star Wars for those of you who are old enough to remember it coming out in 1977!) where Princess Leia says to Grand Moff Tarkin “The more you tighten your grip, the more star systems will slip through your fingers”. Now I realise that there probably isn’t a Grand Moff amongst you reading this, or that you are trying to control Star Systems in the Universe! However, it’s quite a good metaphor for life, don’t you think? Have you noticed that the more you try to hang onto things the more they seem to be slipping away? The fear we have of losing things is just drawing the loss closer and closer. Remember the law of attraction – wherever you put your attention is what you attract more of. So the more you fear something, the more you give it your attention, the more likely it is that it will happen. Another metaphor here is holding sand in your hand. The more you squeeze your grip on the sand, more of it actually leaks out between the gaps. You could of course decide to get a bag and fill the bag up with sand and carry that with you but, in the end, the bag will become heavy and cumbersome and just weigh you down. Also, carrying that bag of sand around with you will inhibit your ability to carry other things that you’ll need later on. So if you let go of the sand, it leaves your hands free to carry anything else that comes your way. Another thing about this too, of course, is that if everyone went to the beach and took a bag of sand, in the end there’d be no sand for anyone to play with. So we’d all lose out. Better to have a day on the beach and have a wonderful time, with memories that you can take away with you, and leave the sand there for others (and for yourself) for another day. All these analogies and metaphors are like life – the more you try desperately to hang onto things, money, friendships, possessions, etc the more you are actually squeezing them out of your life. You’re also blocking the flow so you’ll stop anything new coming your way. As we move into December and the end of the year, it’s a great time to really think about the previous year and let go of anything you don’t need for next year. New Year’s Eve – the end of one year and the beginning of a new. Do you really want to be starting next year loaded down with a bag of sand that, really, has served its purpose already? It’s worth thinking about those things in your life that you’re gripping hold of where it would benefit you much more to open your hands and let them flow. Chances are that the Universe has something new and more exciting to give to you. You’ll also be giving others the opportunity of experiencing those things for themselves too – thus helping to make the world a better place. Let Go. Allow. Experience the joy of expansion.
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 The answer to that rhetorical question is: yes of course you are! One important thing for us all to understand about life is that it never sends us anything that we are incapable of dealing with. God/The All That Is/Source has a view and opinion of us that we are, we always have been, and always will be... good enough. It is just not possible for Source to create something that is not good enough - and that includes you, and me, and everyone else having this physical experience. And yet, we still question that don't we. As we go through life we experience contrast - i.e those little, and sometimes not so little (!), bumps and jolts that provide us with opportunities to learn and grow. However we have the propensity to see them as negative, too hard, and usually bloody annoying! It's all about perception. Remember, we came here to have this physical experience in order to take part in contrast. That's the whole point. As we learn and grow, so too does the All That Is because, like it or not, we are all a part of it and can never be separated from it. Separation from Source and from each other is just an illusion. A useful illusion in many senses because it allows us the opportunity of experiencing different aspects of the whole, such that we can learn from these interactions. No matter where you are on your own development path, you are always good enough. For many years I struggled with the notion that I am good enough to teach the people who come to me. I had this "thing" going on in my head that I needed "just one more qualification" or "just one more course" and I'd have enough to be taken as a credible spiritual teacher, mentor, and coach. The thing is, the more courses I did from this aspect, the more I felt there was always more for me to learn before I could be taken seriously. In some respects this was actually very true - there is always more for me to learn and not a day goes past without my learning something new. I also needed to learn that to be taken seriously as a teacher and mentor all I actually needed to do was believe in myself. Whether or not we see it this way: Every one of us teaches others; Every one of us is also always learning and developing; Every one of us will continue teaching and learning until the day we leave this physical world; Every one of us will continue teaching and learning after we leave this physical experience. The All That Is, is constantly creating and expanding and, because we are a part of this, so too are we. So no matter where we are on our own development path, we will always be good enough to teach those who come to us. Always. We may not end up teaching them what they initially came to us for but teach them we will. The key here is not to compare ourselves with those who are teaching us, or those who come to us for teaching. There will always be those who are further along their path than we, and there will always be those who are not. So cut yourself a bit of slack and love yourself for exactly where you are right now. Remind yourself that if someone comes to you to learn something, it's because they believe you can otherwise they wouldn't be knocking on your door. The All That Is, never gets things wrong, so learn to accept that it wouldn't have sent those people or challenges to you if it didn't think you were good enough to deal with them. Affirm to yourself "I am good enough".
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The other day, I was sitting in a room with people I hadn't seen for ages and something sparked a memory in me from my childhood which caused a negative reaction in me. It was something that happened when I was about 4 or 5. I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing and stepped on something and broke it accidentally. I remember that everyone in the room was cross with me, a couple of people shouted and I remember feeling quite hard done by. After all, it was an accident.
As I sat in the room, remembering this, I started to feel cross and hurt again as I replayed the event over and over in my mind. And then I heard this voice in my head saying, quietly but clearly, "it really doesn't matter any more Alun". It was like someone had switched on a light to help me see more clearly.
Now, rationally of course, I knew that it didn't matter at all. We all remember things in our own way and in accordance of our own model of the world. I remembered feeling angry and upset that everyone thought it was my fault when the thing shouldn't have been in the doorway in the first place etc. Other people in the room were probably angry because I came running in without paying attention and not being very apologetic at first when I did step on the thing. At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter. It happened. There's just no need to go over the whys and wherefores about what happened. Just let go of the negative feelings and bring myself back to the present.
It's funny, isn't it, how we can be walking down the street or doing something really commonplace when a memory like that just pops up and says "hello! I'm here! Time to get angry about this!". The great part of living in the present means that, if we choose to, we can look at those memories with detachment and say "it really doesn't matter". Why spend all that energy remembering something that caused us pain and reliving that pain and anger again and again? We have enough challenges to keep us busy right now rather than worrying about old challenges that a) keep us living in the past and b) renew thoughts of anger and negativity that make us feel bad.
Don't spend time thinking now about old negative stuff that you're still carrying around, BUT, do be aware of it when it rears it's ugly head. Then, take a deep breath and, as you exhale, let go of it and say to yourself "It really doesn't matter…." Make a point of being aware, as you go through this week, of where your thoughts are. Are they going over old situations that make you feel bad? If you do, don't be cross with yourself, just let it go in the way I suggested and bring your focus back to the present moment.
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 There are times in life when we feel incredibly trapped, bored, seem to be like a hamster in a wheel. "Aaaaaarrgh! " we say to ourselves "What's wrong with my life?!"
There have been days where I've felt like that it's true and what I tend to do on days like that is just get out of the house, go for a walk, and grab a coffee in the village. By the time I get back I'm usually feeling a lot better. However, if I'm not, which doesn't happen often but does happen, I think of something silly to do that I wouldn't normally - wear odd socks, walk backwards around the house or when I'm in the Park, stand in the middle of Blackheath Green and just shout.
Sometimes we need something so out of the ordinary to happen to us that shakes us up and helps us wake up again. However, we can't always rely on the world to do that for us, we also need to grab the bull by the horns and do something for ourselves.
I remember an email that was circled about 10 years ago called "Office Cricket" and for each thing you did on the list you scored runs. There were some really silly things on there which really made me giggle, like walking into your bosses office and switching the light off and on 10 times then just walking out (score 5 runs), or keep calling a colleague Fred (5 runs), (quite outrageous behaviour really) standing up at the end of the meeting and saying that it had moved you so much that you feel you need to sing the national anthem (50 runs) and actually singing it (100 runs!).
It's good to stretch our boundaries and do something out of the ordinary that others don't expect. Now, I'm not suggesting we do anything horrible to anyone else! Indeed not. Although I'm sure a stretch of hospitality courtesy of Her Majesty would certainly shake one's life up a bit! I'm also not suggesting you do anything that will get you fired from your job either! But doing something very different from how we normally do can really help us realise that we are alive and that we really do have control
So, this week, try to inject a bit of spark and outrageousness into your days. Walk to work a different way (or backwards!), smile at everyone you meet, wear a red nose on Friday  , eat in a different place for lunch, drink tea instead of coffee, walk naked around your house for a day (unless you normally do that anyway!). Give yourself some fun and really push your boundaries. Remind yourself that there is nothing you cannot be, do or have if you really set your mind to it. And, above all, HAVE FUN!
With love and blessings
Alun
Emerald Heart Practitioner Spiritual Life Coach EFT Practitioner Seichem Reiki Teaching Master NLP Practitioner
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